Blow it out keep it in.

I'm not a person that expects a lot out of life , I don't go around whining why is the world not my Lollipop Usually …
Well that's the odd thing if you were to judge me on the basis of my Blog alone , you would guess otherwise.
I can assure you I'm really quite an upbeat person really.
The thing Is If you surround yourself with misery for too long It will start to rub off on you.
And I see a lot of miserable people.
I dont do religion, If it works for you then great but its just not for me , Its a topic for another (If slightly duller) day.
There is however one thing I try to stick with (apart from don't kill anyone bit in most of these moral guide books.....cos that what I see them as) and its a bit derived from Buddisim.
“You may not be able to control a situation, but you can control your response to the situation”
Cut down to the bone , It gives you power, If something upsets/ annoys you it is your choosing to be upset/annoyed., you just pause before it goes too far, Rationalise it and shrug it off... Well sometimes.
We all however need a release valve, and that where this blog comes in, Its the valve.
Its a dark corner I can Let it out, Its like going out the back at work and kicking the shit out of the dustbins without the stubbed toe.
When you trot back into the mayhem after the outburst, Some will nod sagely and go “ That better then?” Some will back away slightly, Some will walk past you to kick those bins themselves, and some will have a laugh at what a Tit you made of yourself.
The thing is I really don't care what you get out of it (in the nicest possible way) Its all about me.
However If you get what you need by reading these bin Kickings then that's great also..
I have just read back through this and realised I tend to type the Phrase “The thing is” quite a bit, and I have no Idea why.
But then again (Oh shit, another overused phrase of mine) ITS ALL ABOUT ME, Its not a piece of created writing I'm handing in for a thesis, Its not a report for work and If I'm Honest im really not doing this to Impress None of you Motherfuckers... got that? Still here?
GOOD :D
Well that's all for now Bogbloggers, but I have got some recommended reading for you. There are Two people on this very Blog thingie that are both interesting and make my ramblings look very lightweight.
You could do a lot worse than check out Faeriefuckwit (correct spellings may vary) and The Constant Avenger,
Both blogs are written with a lot of flair , by two very interesting people.
Also if you like this sort of Crap Dead End Job Ramblings I put out, You could do well to search out a Book by a Guy called Ben Hamper, The book is called Rivethead.
Rivethead is pretty much the thing that started me on this Blog , It has had an influence on the way I write it too. Its pretty much the guys life Story, from fucking up School, substance abuse, ending up in a dead end Job, The people around them and his observations of them,Losing it, and finally ending up dealing with his demons.
It sounds really shit but its compulsive I promise you.

One last thing, I really dont know it anyones noticed a trend with a lot of my titles... answers to the usual address :)
Laters.
M

Just a little bit of History repeating.......

Nothing for ages and then 3 in one week , you lucky lucky people,...(both of you that read this)
So what gives, Check the title.
Remember way back in the early days some of you will remember I struggled in proving I could work in this country.
Well Its happened again during the tail end of last year with this new job.
I'm from Australia , I cannot help that, but I know nothing of the place , I was a toddler when I cme to the UK.
I'm 40 now so you would guess If it was going to be a problem It would happen a bit before 24 years into my working life in the UK.
But NO, I am an Illegal immigrant in the eyes of my employer until I can prove otherwise.
I provided it all , My Birth cert, My parents birth cert (English by decent) to anyone in a personnel department worth their salt.
(I WILL BE PUTTING TAGS IN IN CASE ANYONE IN THIS LINE OF WORK WHO HAPPENS TO BE OF THE HARD OF THINKING VARIETY CAN READ THIS AND REALISE HOW STUPID THEY WOULD BE TO DO THIS TO SOMEONE)
Like the Woman on Little Britain I got the Computer says no Response.
I then provided my marriage cert (A bit of a clue as I am marred to an English person and you cant do that without lots of faff if you cannot prove you belong here)
Computer says No
P45
Computer says no
P60.
You will notice that both of the documents will include an Ni Number
Computer says No
I Phoned them up at this stage with me very English and Londonish Accent
Computer says No
I would need to write off to the Home office and pay them for the privilege for providing me with a piece of paper that says I am an Englisher
This took 6 weeks and was just a shade under £100
Computer says no as it is not conclusive proof that I can work in this country.
Now bear in mind This is some 10 weeks into starting a new Job and bills are piling up right left and centre, (and they will let me work but wont pay me)
I started to lose my temper a bit.
Eventually after a couple of exchanges, they relented to give me some of the money I was owed.
Just enough to keep me alive, but fuck up any plans I had to enjoy the Xmas period.
And here is the beautiful bit.
I NEED to get a passport or they will stop paying me, So I have coughed up for one of those too.
I also received a shitty letter telling my I would be unemployed on this first of this month If I didnt supply it by then.
FANfuckingtastic, so I have worked my Bollocks off for a company that will happily throw me out on my arse at the strike of midnight new years eve.
I have been clearing up Tramps Shit and Syringes, whilst having beer cans thrown at me and being sworn at, and all for a bunch of Tossers who don't fully understand Employment law and when it is actually OK to revert to Common sense.
This bunch of bellends think its OK to dock my Money , make me fork out for things to prove what should be bleeding obvious to an imbecile (even though they have docked my Money making forking out for such things very tight. They think its OK to put a shadow over my Xmas Break. Even though I have been a model Employee and an Ambassador for the company.
The update is I still have a job for now, but its really dampened my enthusiasm for this company.
So in short Personnel Fuckwit
It may well be against your sensibilities to deviate from the company line to any degree.
You may have lines you never cross policy wise.
I have always had a policy that I don't work for a shower of Under trained amateur Cunts
On this occasion I'm turning a Blind Eye, I personally think Its time to reciprocate.
Oh and I really hope your next shit is a Pineapple
Love and Kisses
M

Waaaah BodyfoRRRRm Bodyforrrm for YOOOOOO!

Waaaaaaagh BodyfooooooooooooRRRRm for yeeeeeeeeeuu!
Right I'm really sure you would love to hear my take on the Olympics? Well If I'm Honest I couldn't give a flying fuck.
Next question..........
but this leads me to what I really want to go on about.....
Building design.
I live in a town that has recently Knocked down a striking (If Piss stinking and Bleak) Bus Station.
This has been replaced with something that I can only describe as something that looks like it should be trimming Bikini lines.
It is Hideous and I seriously doubt it will age well either, Yes it is striking but its one of these buildings that is mostly outside (If that makes sense) It affords little in the line of shelter to the elements.
Thing is the building it replaced at least did that, So we lost something shit and got something shitter that does not do as much as the forerunner
This strikes me as a bit odd?
WTF has this to do with the Olympics?
Well talking of Design, Buildings and ladygardens
What is the Olympic swimming place supposed to look like?
Well Google the roof view …...Now is it just me, or does it look like a Giant pantyliner?
Makes you wonder what these Designers are taking us for , I have my Theory and in sticking to it.
Laters

but all I got was bitter and a Nasty little rash

Did I ever say I was shit at keeping going on Stuff?
Well here I am again, after a slight pause, I didn't actually realise anyone was interested in this pile of old Toot I spit out in the dusty corners of the internet.
I had a nudge about carrying on and posting more a while back.
I took it as politeness, and then just yesterday I was asked again whatever happened to your Blog?
So I'm guessing, Now is as gooder time as any to continue with the thinly veiled mindless ranting, with a bit of childish Puerility thrown in for good measure.
So what have you missed, Not a lot. A few nut bar customers here and there , countless ones if I'm honest, but hey ho the customer is always right even though they are not always right in the head.
So what's happening now
I'm back on the tools full time in probably the scuzziest Shopping centre in the southern hemisphere.
What the....HOW? Well here's the thing, I got fed up where I was and decided it was high time to sack the company that was working (Or not) for me.
Without details they were getting on my tits...........Its was all a bit too raaah raahh down with the peasants and up with us, Too much stick and not enough carrot if you will.
Firstly I decided being boss man was not for me, so I demoted myself to cleaner.
Then the work got thinner and thinner, and the people I was Working for changed so many times I took it as a hint that all was not healthy and it was time to hit the road.
I had a rumour that someone I had previously worked for and got on really well with had some work going, so I got in touch . They wanted me on-board , and I jumped ship.
It was good Money and an interesting Job, I have been craving interesting for a while.....
Unfortunately I failed their Medical (Nothing serious but not something I can change)
So there I was on Friday morning with nothing to go to on Monday
Ooopsie!
Then I got a call from someone else I had previously worked with and got on well with , Mark we have a job for you, this will suit you down to the ground.
Let me put it this way the moment they said “Mark we have a job for you”, I pretty much signed on the line, considering my options ,I.e. NONE!
So now I am working in said Scuzzy shopping centre and my days involve Shit, Piss, Needles Shouty Bosses, Im in charge of Errant cleaners akin to taking a holiday or sickie at the drop of a hat.
Everyone has a Childish behaviour and a general I cant be arsed attitude, Oh and I'm on Less money than I was on before.
But I have a Job.
So that's got you up to speed.
Other than i have an itchy rash of spots on my arms and legs, Its annoying but not overly so........
I will be back when I have something interesting to say
Laters and be nice to your cleaner
M