Do not attempt it without the Gloves,Bullseye and Guitar hero.

There I was in a darkened Entrance Hallway clearing up a small pile of leaves............Hmm wont bother with the gloves cos its "clean" dirty stuff (If you need to wear rubber gloves all day you will understand why i didn't feel the urge)
The clean dirty stuff was OK until I put my hand through a Mouse that was quietly decaying in the shadows.
Suddenly that sandwich I was looking forward to was no longer as appetising.
It was sitting there all innocent looking till my fingers went through to unearth its pungent fermentation process.
Barf.

Mr imagination was keeping me company today whilst I whiled away my shift. today i imagined i was a contestant on Bullseye........ "Ta Da da da daddadada dada da da" anyway I had decided In my head every task would win my a sightly disappointing prize for my troubles.



Hinnnnnnnnnnnnn One ................A decomposing mouse in a pedal bin liner.
Hinnnnnnnnnnnnn Two................ A shrapnel damaged toilet with a little splashback on the seat
Hinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn Three....... for all you water sports fans, a seeping urinal
Hinnnnnnnnnn Four......Treat yourself with this slightly Pungent Pedal bin.
Hinnnnnnnnnn five......Go dotty with this sprinkling of hole punch dots.

Or you could gamble it all for Bully's special prize a leaking bin bag full of "Brown Matter"

"Well Jim me and the lads have had a great day and will let someone else go for the biggun"

anyway i soon became bored of this game as you do cos the prizes wern't all that..

So my mind wandered back to the gaming shop i popped into on Saturday, I was looking for old and cheap x box games when I spotted this guy in the corner, in his 40s slightly balding pulling funny faces and fiddling with a piece of plastic whilst looking as a TV Screen.
Closer inspection showed this mini piece of plastic to be a pretend Guitar.
WTF did this guy look like .........well with all fairness due he looked like the sort of chap that still lived with his Mummy and slightly pathetic.
This made me chuckle to myself but slightly sad for him all in a heartbeat.
Now real Guitars they are great, they like the game take a bit to learn but unlike the game Chicks dig it.

Saying Yeah I can play a bit on the Guitar may cause a bit of ooohing and ahhing from your peers and that's all Cool and the Gang.
Even if you can only play Happy Birthday on the thing its still a Guitar ..........and remember chicks Dig it, even an unattractive chap can suddenly become more appealing with a Strat plugged into a Marshal,its Arty, its rebellious,Its cool, it shows you can play a musical instrument and have a certain level of intelligence.
It don't even matter if the largest place you play it to some friends in the living room, it equates to one thing.

Instant sex God just add some overdrive.

but..........

Standing in a games shop with a Pretend guitar, Gurning away and beating the shop owners high score? Its like bragging to friends......"well I'm really good at masturbating, well if I ever get my hands on a real woman, phew, oh yeah i was great"

Enjoy your day, I'm off for a kip now
laters
Mark